Craft Minutes with Steven Barnes – 5

Human Adulthood #5: Allies and Powers

In this seventeen-part series on becoming an awakened adult human being, we have already acknowledged the work that needs to be done, dealt with our negative emotions, accepted responsibility and begun to move forward. The fifth step deals with the acquisition of allies and new abilities.

The reason for this is deceptively simple, and devastatingly important to understand: if you do not currently have the ability to do something, it is safest to assume that you do not currently have all the information and support necessary to do it. This doesn’t mean lacking the faith that you can realize your dreams, it is grasping that there is a gap between your current capacities and those necessary to realize your dream.

What abilities or information will you need to accomplish your goal of taking responsibility in all three major arenas of your life? Having a healthy body, healthy career, and finding your soulmate (or nurturing your current relationship)? If you aim at all three, simultaneously, you CANNOT remain asleep. You cannot remain a child. Only an awake adult human being can pull all three off, simultaneously. You are going to need allies, my friend. In a traditional society, this would have been a circle of elders, the old men and old women of the tribe. As a group, they were the repository of every bit of useful knowledge that anyone in the tribe has ever discovered. This is where the younger members would go to learn how to handle every step of life.

Mentors, coaches, teachers–these people fill in the gaps in your knowledge, support you when you are down, help you to believe in yourself when you have lost hope. They are critical. They may be friends, so long as they support you in being your best. Your very best basic ally will be your husband or wife, someone you can trust 100% to tell you the truth, watch your back, and help you to keep your word to yourself. The “Mastermind” concept is all about this: people who are totally aligned with your intent, and offer an exchange of support.

Role models also fit into this category: people who have accomplished what you wish to achieve in your life. By studying what successful people do, then asking: how are they using their minds, bodies, and hearts DIFFERENTLY than you are using yours. If the differences are moral and in alignment with your values, go for it. If not, find new role models. If you can’t find a single person who has achieved your goals in an ethical fashion…you may want to reconsider your goals.

And it is your responsibility to find role models, allies, mentors, coaches and teachers, people you can ask the questions you need answered to take your place in the adult world. And trust me, all of the real goodies are found in that arena–including the emotional freedom to fulfill your childhood dreams.

©2010 STEVEN BARNES